Adoption Adventures

Follow Cory and Rebecca on their quest to adopt!

Slow(ly) Creep(ing)

Not too long ago Rebecca posted some information on our first meeting with a prospective adoptee.  What’s been going on since then you may ask?  Well, some additional interaction with that same child (hereinafter, the “Kid”) and some slow creeping of the process.  Here’s a bit of an update as well some information of how this stuff seems to run.

As for the update, the Kid was on spring break last week so we were able to steal him away from current foster parents’ house for a day.  It was a work day so that largely meant a lot of one-on-one time between Kid and Rebecca – Putt-Putt, video games, basketball, etc.  I caught up with them for lunch and then again at the end of the business day for dinner (and some more basketball) before he had to go back home.  The day was fun and gave us an additional bit of insight into his personality (and I would presume the same for him into our lives and personalities).  The situation is still odd – there is no outward discussion of the fact that we are prospective adoptive parents.  We have been presented during both meetings as individuals who are providing respite foster care.  That said, Kid has probably started to assemble some guesses as to what is really going on given our ages, the fact that we don’t have any kids and, most importantly, the fact that Kid is smart.  Would we spend some more time with him?  Certainly!  It is just a matter now of trying to schedule that time.

Kid’s social worker is fantastic to work with and is very patient at making sure everything is a great fit for him.  In addition to our schedule being slightly odd, everyone is kinda checking along with Kid to make sure he wants to keep hanging out with us.  Forget the fact that we’re interested – we’re not the most important parties here!  All of this checking back and forth between us, Kid and everyone in Kid’s orbit (social worker and other supportive individuals like guardian ad litems) create some clear and natural delays.  It all makes sense in its own way and we’re still along for the ride.

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Hello, Stranger

After years of talking about adopting and learning more about foster care adoption, many months of paperwork and background checks, and weeks of parent training, we got to spend a day with a real, live kiddo who’s looking for a family this weekend. We went to the local natural science center in the morning, called a meeting of Pizza Club for lunch, walked around the neighborhood, and played some football in the afternoon. It was awesome and it was weird.

 

Daaaaang

There really aren’t other times that a grownup or two hangs out with a single child with absolutely no relation to them. Not a relative or neighbor, not your child’s friend or one of several children in a class or scout troop. Just a random child who knows nothing about you, although you know many personal details about her or him. And it’s all under the guise of babysitting to give their foster parents a little time off, because telling a kid that s/he’s on some kind of interview would only make things weirder.

 

Despite the odd setup and some lulls in the conversation, we had fun and were totally exhausted by the day’s end. Some non-identifying highlights from the day include:

  • The child repeatedly saying “daaaaaang” under his (ok–the kid’s a he) breath when we got nose-to-nose with giant tortoises at the science center
  • The rocks & minerals section of the science center being referred to as his “favorite part”
  • His spot-on guinea pig impersonation
  • His desire to throw the football with Cory for an hour even though football is not at all Cory’s strong suit (which he’ll tell you himself)
  • His gentleness with the cats, who sweetly put up with being meowed at by a small human for long stretches of time

We had fun, he had fun, and we’ll see where it goes from here. As with everything in the world of foster care, situations and circumstances can change rapidly so we’re trying not to get our hopes up (or freak out at the thought of having a kid all of the sudden, for that matter). As always, we’re taking it day by day. And Saturday was certainly a good day!

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“Baby Blues” with an Elementary Schooler?

First off, thanks to so many folks for their support and encouragement of us during the whole, long adoption process! I know we’ve been slack with our blog updates, but things are moving along well and we’ve talked with several social workers about kids both near and far. (Well, not too far. All have been in the contiguous United States.) We’re happy with the progress and know that our family will grow if and when the time is right.

 

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption recently posted an interesting article about post-adoption stress in new moms. An earlier study found that both new mothers and fathers may experience depression or other not-so-elated feelings after the adoption of a child due to a few reasons including unrealistic expectations and lack of support. It’s a good reminder that no matter how folks become parents, they all face many of the same challenges and need similar types of support!

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