Adoption Adventures

Follow Cory and Rebecca on their quest to adopt!

Why?

on December 7, 2011

It’s human nature to wonder why people make the choices that they do, but it’s good etiquette not to ask about people’s personal choices about their families. What a pickle! We know that people are curious about why we—or anyone—may want to adopt, so we’re including this handy section to explain:

 

Cory and I first talked about adoption a few days after we started dating in 2001. Cory was in law school in Chapel Hill, I was in DC trying to find a job, and we e-mailed each other frequently. While we were in separate states, we took the time to share our hopes for the future. Neither of us knew for sure if we wanted to ever have children, but I said that if I did become a mom one day, I would want it to be through adoption. Adoption had treated me very well in the past (I was adopted by the ideal family for me when I was two months old) and it’s a legacy I’d like to share with my own child or children one day. Cory agreed that it’s not DNA that makes a family, but the love that people share and the way they care for one another. We married a little over two years later in January 2004 and grew our family with the addition of cats rather than people.

 

Over the years we talked more about having kids and realized that while both of us think babies are delightful, we think of ourselves as better with toddlers and older children to infants. (But we have it on good authority that humans are only babies for a few months, versus being non-babies for most of their lifetimes.) And although we have no reason to think we could not give birth to a darling fleet of pasty, dark-haired, allergy-prone, nerdy kids, we would be just as happy to adopt those indoor kids. So why not grow our family while getting kids out of foster care at the same time?

 

We went to an informational meeting on adoption and foster care (which turned out to be entirely about therapeutic foster care) in 2008 or ’09, and I would regularly peruse the AdoptUSKids.org website to find out more about children living in foster care. Last year while looking at the site, I stumbled across the profile for young Amanda in Oklahoma, whose photo showed her proudly holding up the medal she won in a geography bee. I showed her profile to Cory, who was immediately smitten. Although we knew that Amanda most likely wouldn’t be in foster care for much longer with a photo like that, we decided the time was right to get ready for kids and began working with a private agency to begin the adoption process. So although our hopes to adopt may be news to some folks, we’ve been planning for this for years.

 

So, to recap, we do want to adopt from domestic foster care because we see doing so as a win-win for us and a child. We do not want to adopt because we’re obsessed with the Jolie-Pitt family (well, we may be a little obsessed, but that’s not why we’re doing this), because my eggs and uterine lining have formed an anti-implantation pact in response to my years of pro-choice activism, because we’re horribly concerned about me losing my girlish figure or Cory gaining sympathy weight (time, gravity, and delicious doughnuts prove those things happen anyway), or because of either organized or disorganized religion.

 

And in case your “Why?” is about why we’re keeping this blog, it’s twofold. We want our friends and family to be able to keep up with where we are in our own move toward adoption (and opted to wait until after our home study was completed before posting anything), but we also want to demystify the process of adopting from foster care and challenge common misconceptions people have about it. Who knows? Adopting may be your calling, too.

 

 

Would you trust these people with a child?

How about these people?


4 Responses to “Why?”

  1. This blog makes me smile all over. Wishing you all the best in this adventure. Your future-child will most certainly look back fondly on a childhood full of doughnuts, bedtime zombie stories, and quality time with two of the coolest parents ever. Thanks for sharing the experience with the rest of us!

  2. Laurel Shire says:

    YAY! This is so great – the blog, and the adopting from foster care part. We are rooting for your family in Connecticut.

  3. Woodie says:

    This is wonderful, thanks for sharing your adventure with us. I’m looking forward to following along and rooting for you both from the stands. And nice family portrait btw.

  4. Minita says:

    Yaay! I’m so happy for you – and rooting for you all the way. The kid that will eventually find home with you will be very lucky indeed.

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